Late Night Thoughts.

I've never really wanted to come back on here to be completely honest. But I've officially decided that this is my... lets say safety zone. Where I can let out my thoughts and not be judged for it.

I really don't know what to do. In a sense that I don't know how to explain the emotions I'm currently feeling at the moment. I feel.. lost, vulnerable and insecure. It has happened a few times, and I've always picked myself up somehow. But this time, I really just wanna find an outlet to let it out.

I've always been told since I was young that I'm always overreacting, or that I'm being too sensitive. So I'm always technically the one at fault cause I take things too literal and can't joke about it. I kept to myself alot, because of this. So its a struggle for me to reveal my feelings and any other negative thoughts I'm having and shit. Since then I've tried to downplay a lot of things with humour. But there's only so much one can take before crumbling.

I love humour. I really do. It really does take away some of the pain. But how far can humour take you till you realise you can't always depend on it for strength? I always thought that.. you know, just being understanding and casting aside your own feelings and showing empathy is the correct way to live. Cause everyone is going through rough shit right? What makes me any different? Who gives me the right to judge and compare my life with others? But.. how much is too much.. before it starts to gnaw at you? Like an irritating itch. Before everyone keeps telling you to understand their situation before yours. Before everyone puts the blame on you for not understanding their situation. Before it becomes solely your fault for failing to understand and give in to others.

How much is too much?